To counter the gossips, you must not take anything personally. Once you take it personally, obviously you agree with whatever was said. As soon as you agree, the emotional poison seeps into your system and the virus corrupts your mental system.
We fall prey to the trap because of our sense of personal importance. We need to protect our egos. It is wise to remember that what other people say or do is because of themselves, not because of you. They live in different worlds from the one you live in.
So when you take something personally, you are assuming that they know what is in your world. When someone passes an insulting remark in your presence, don’t take it personally because in reality, this rude person is dealing with his or her own negative feelings, beliefs and opinions. As long as you ignore and reject the emotional poison, the poison will boomerang and go back to the sender. But if you take it personally, it means you have accepted the poison and it becomes your poisoned gift. That is how black magic works in primitive societies. It becomes effective and deadly only if the victim believes in the power of the witch. So don’t take it personally when other people gossip about you.
By assuming this impersonal attitude, to a significant extent, you are immune to the poison in your world.
The malignant virus can only corrupt the minds of the gossipers.
I wish I could benefit from this valuable insight about gossips at the initial stage of my trouble. That would have saved me a lot of pain and suffering caused by shame.
Anyway the intense suffering has transformed my pain into love which gives me the privilege to share my insights with some suffering souls outside there- confused and lost in a different form of toxic shame.
Strategy #2-
Affirm to yourself not to take things personally. You are not the centre of the universe.
In reality you and I are mere specks of dust in this infinite universe!
So why bother to be upset when other people gossip about you?
Why bother? You will be here for only a very very short time. Here today and gone tomorrow! Don’t take their gossips personally. They are like smoke blown across your face and will be gone in a short while. Nothing in this world is permanent!
David YKK has a degree in History & Education specializing on the History of Asia with special focus on comparative religions i.e. Buddhism, Hinduism, Taoism etc.
He has experienced a wide range of emotional sufferings from childhood until very recently.
He wanted to use his extensive experiences with low wounded self-esteem combined with insights and strategies derived from many other psychological and spiritual books to help other victims to build their own bridges to transcend their pain, shame and emotional helplessness. In overcoming most of these problems, he has not consulted any psychiatrist because he is convinced that the answers to unlock his serious emotional problems lie in crafting his own keys to open the doors of the dungeon cells from inside. More importantly, he believes in himself- in his integrity & in the philosophy of showing compassion for self and for others as well as trust in the unconditional love of God.
Being a teacher and writer, David believes that every human being is creative enough to use the tools & raw materials (meaningful and practical info) to craft their own keys to open the doors to their dungeon cells that have trapped them inside. So he proposes to provide the tools and raw materials from his own extensive experiences and seven years of reading and research from many psychological and spiritual books. Since no two human beings are the same, every reader must use his/her discretion and judgment to select & apply what is meaningful and effective for their own recovery. If necessary, readers are strongly advised to consult their doctors or counselors whose professional training will definitely be beneficial for their recovery.
At the end of the day, it is the suffering victim who must lift his/her own hands to pull himself/herself out of the ruts to go on living a life that God wants him/her to live. Nobody else can do this job of rebuilding his/her wounded life. The reality is that the victims must be the authors who must take the ultimate responsibility of writing the scripts of the future chapters of their lives.
The articles in his blog are carefully considered and blended from his own personal experiences and insights derived from various books and internet articles with the primary intention of helping himself and other shame-victims to build practical and meaningful stepping stones to cross the deep chasm to become wholesome human beings. The author hopes that he can make a positive difference in the lives of some suffering souls who are looking for some light in their pitch-black tunnels.
David realizes that he can’t do it alone because the doors to other people’s souls are sacrosanct and sacred. He believes in the power of the grace and unconditional Love of God that can bring about inner healing and happiness for the victims who are open in their hearts and minds to be aware of God’s love.
COPING WITH SLANDERS & TOXIC GOSSIPS 