COPING WITH SLANDERS & TOXIC GOSSIPS

Just another WordPress.com weblog


Leave a comment

PLEASE BE MORE CAREFUL IN YOUR SELECTION OF YOUR TARGETS FOR GOSSIPS IN 2010

THE MOST DANGEROUS UNTRUTHS ARE TRUTHS MODERATELY DISTORTED. (Georg Christoph Lichtenberg)

With the advent of the New Year of 2010, I hope the queen-bees of the bee-hives all over the world will be more careful in sending their soldier bees to attack the right enemies. Please be careful about attacking those perceived to be enemies just because you believe that they have intruded into your territory. Sometimes the bees sting wildly and may inflict deadly damage on those who stray accidentally into their vicinities. Our world is  already badly damaged and our society is so badly shattered by all kinds of fears that virtually most spiritual values have been cast overboard.

Please exercise more compassion in your selection of your targets for vicious gossips and slander.

Be more stringent and more objective in framing your criteria. Always put yourself in the other person’s shoes before setting him or her up as your target. If there is an element of doubt, please be more humane and judge the perceived offender on this universal premise- `that everyone is innocent until proven guilty.’  This is the basis of our law-abiding society. Sometimes, picking unwittingly an innocent victim as your target may compromise your credibility and your good work.

In the meantime, continue your good work in the coming year to protect children who have always been most vulnerable to the dark forces of this world. May the good Lord bless you abundantly for the good that you have done.

Happy New Year to all of you readers.

THREE DIFFERENT PERSPECTIVES- 1) `If we are able to love a butterfly, we must care for a few caterpillars.' (Antoine de Saint-Exupery) 2) `We ought to think that we are one of the leaves of a tree, and the tree is all humanity. We cannot live without the others, without the tree.' (Pablo Casals) 3) `In recognising the humanity of our fellow beings, we pay ourselves the highest tribute.' (Thurgood Marshall)

Submitted by Philosaiki


Leave a comment

TWO WAYS TO REACH AND TRANSFORM THE OFFENDERS- WHICH WAY IS BETTER & MORE EFFECTIVE?

HOW CAN I REALLY CHANGE IF YOU KEEP JUDGING ME NEGATIVELY, GOSSIPING AND STARING AT ME?

To every man there openeth

A way, and ways, and a way.

And the high soul climbs the high way,

And the low soul gropes the low.

And in between on the misty flats

The rest drift to and fro,

But to every man there openeth

A high way and a low-

And every man decideth the way his soul shall go.

(John Okenham)

There are two main ways to transform the offenders in society. One is to change with love and acceptance while the other way is to transform him/her with hate and condemnation to inflict maximum damage to his/her self-esteem so as to induce self-condemnation.

Actually the two ways are the opposite ends of the spectrum. The aim is the same -to change the offenders so that they will not repeat their offensive behaviors. Our goal is the same but the means are diametrically-opposite. Let’s explore to see which is the more effective and humane way. 

My way by writing this blog is to change the offenders by awakening in them the unconditional love of God. This is one of the few ways that the offenders recover a sense of their self-worth when they realize that God loves them very much without any condition. Anyone who has suffered a significant amount of wounded self-esteem and toxic shame has also been inflicted with a terrible amount of `soul-murder’ ( with their spirituality almost non-existent). When an offender is in that state of mind, he/she is very vulnerable to compulsive disorders. When one commits negative or violent acts in reaction to the negative stimulii in the form of gossips or cold stares, that is dangerous to society. The offender is liable to continue to repeat those anti-social acts secretly as a form of revenge or hate against the society. This is the main reason why criminals continue their crimes even when released from prison. They feel that it is no point changing because they perceive that they have been perpetually condemned by society. They have been labelled and socially marginalised. Have you ever been socially marginalised in this way? Will you change if you perceive that the mob-lynching has been grossly unfair without sufficient valid grounds?

This is the reason why I launch this blog to help such victims  see themselves differently- that they are are worthy of the love of God. When they realize that God loves them unconditionally, then they are capable of changing. Love is the mightiest force in the universe because God himself is love! I pray that during this Christmas season of love, all human beings should practise compassion and love towards one another by gossiping and judging less!

If anyone who has been pissed off by some of my confrontational postings, I offer him/her my sincere apologies. When we look at the same object from different perspectives, there is bound to be misunderstanding and misinterpretation. We are operating at the opposite ends of the same spectrum- trying to transform someone negative into a positive person who can contribute towards making this broken world a better place. If I can succeed in my way, this is the best Christmas for me!

Submitted by Philosaiki


Leave a comment

WHY ME LORD? MILLIONS HAVE ASKED THIS QUESTION FOR CENTURIES BUT FEW HAD RECEIVED A SATISFACTORY ANSWER FROM GOD.

THE ANSWER TO THE QUESTION IS FAR LESS IMPORTANT THAN THE STRENGTH, WISDOM, HUMILITY, LOVE & EMPATHY THAT YOU MAY GAIN IN THE PROCESS OF BECOMING A BETTER PERSON.

God is the potter, we are the clay. God is infinite, we are finite. God is all-powerful; we are limited in strength and ability. God is faithful; we are unfaithful and inconsistent… irresponsible, fractured and so often confused. The point is clear: we may be a lot of things but sovereign is not one of them! Another observation is : Disputing is a waste of time and effort. C.S. Lewis said it well, “To argue with God is to argue with the very power that makes it possible to argue at all.”

Does a clay pot dare to argue with its maker, a pot that is like all the others?  Does the clay ask the potter what he is doing? Does the pot complain that its maker has no skill?  Does anyone dare say to his parents, “Why did you make me like this?”   The Lord, the holy God of Israel, the one who shapes the future, says: “You have no right to question me about my children or to tell me what I ought to do! I am the one who made the earth and created mankind to live there. By my power, I stretched out the heavens; I control the sun, the moon and the stars.”  (Isa. 45:9-12)

(Adapted from `Living On The Ragged Edge’ by Charles R. Swindoll)

Food For Thought

Most of the time, suffering is a profound mystery that has puzzled man since immemorial. Jobs of the Old Testament had asked God for a valid and reasonable answer why he had to suffer so much. `Why me, Lord?’ Jobs did not deserve to go through terrible suffering like the loss of his great wealth, the total destruction of his family, and other adversities. He did not deserve to go through such extensive chronic suffering because he believed that he was a good man. Yet he endured his suffering patiently and blessed the Lord at the end of the day. Jobs had searched for satisfactory and reasonable answers to his suffering but God gave him none. Eventually, it dawned on Jobs that suffering was a profound mystery and he had to accept that there was simply no answer to suffering.

The story of Jobs has provided an answer to your suffering especially when it is related to shame and gossips caused by other people. So don’t blame yourself automatically for all the things that cause you so much suffering. Some of  your healing may depend upon knowing  that usually it is not your fault when tragedy strikes or when others hurt you.

Remember that the most important thing about a problem is not its solution, but the strength, wisdom, patience, humility and compassion you gain in finding the solution.

Submitted by Philosaiki


Leave a comment

SOME THOUGHTS FOR INNER HEALING DURING THIS CHRISTMAS

SOME OF THE TRAGEDIES AND LOSSES PEOPLE ENCOUNTER IN LIFE ARE TOO TERRIBLE TO THINK ABOUT. AND ALONG WITH CALAMITY COMES THE TEMPTATION TO GIVE UP HOPE. YET THERE ARE THOSE WHO WOULD NOT GIVE IN OR GIVE UP. THESE ARE OUR EXAMPLES OF THE STRENGTH OF THE HUMAN SPIRIT. TO THEM, THE TRAGIC PART OF THEIR LIVES WAS JUST THAT- A `PART' OF THEIR LIVES, ONE CIRCUMSTANCE AMONG MANY. SOME FOLKS JUST WON'T QUIT. INSTEAD, THEY CREATE NEW CIRCUMSTANCES. (Unknown)

AND HE SAID TO THEM ALL, "IF ANY MAN WILL COME AFTER ME, LET HIM DENY HIMSELF, AND TAKE UP HIS CROSS DAILY AND FOLLOW ME." (Luke 9:23) LET JESUS' WORDS INSPIRE YOU TO BEAR YOUR SUFFERING WITH COURAGE AND PATIENCE. LIFE IS TERRIBLY SHORT AND SO IS YOUR SUFFERING- `SEVENTY YEARS IS ALL WE HAVE- EIGHTY YEARS, IF WE ARE STRONG; YET ALL THEY BRING US IS TROUBLE & SORROW. LIFE IS SOON OVER AND WE ARE GONE." (Psalm 90:10)

CHRISTMAS IS THE MOST WONDERFUL TIME OF THE YEAR TO SEE YOUR LIFE AS HALF-FULL INSTEAD OF HALF-EMPTY! `WHEN YOUR LIFE IS FILLED WITH THE DESIRE TO SEE THE HOLINESS IN EVERYDAY LIFE, SOMETHING MAGICAL HAPPENS: ORDINARY LIFE BECOMES EXTRAORDINARY, AND THE VERY PROCESS OF LIFE BEGINS TO NOURISH YOUR SOUL. (Rabbi Harold Kushner)


Leave a comment

ONLY THE UNCONDITIONAL LOVE OF GOD IS MEANINGFUL SOLUTION TO ALL HUMAN PROBLEMS

LET US GIVE GOD A CHANCE TO SOLVE OUR COMPLEX HUMAN PROBLEMS IN HIS OWN WAY WITH HIS UNCONDITIONAL LOVE DURING THIS CHRISTMAS

Only love has the power to alter the subtler vibrations of human energy, for love transforms events on the level of consciousness, and consciousness is the level of true cause. The world outside us is a world of effects, so to merely change things within that world is to ultimately change nothing. Spiritual principle addresses the true cause of every problem, because every problem is in essence a spiritual crisis. Every problem reflects an unforgiveness. In every situation, the consciousness of love, either has revealed itself or remains hidden. The role of the mystic is to find the love, and reveal the love, that lies latent in every circumstance.

Terrorism, for instance, is not our deepest problem, but rather the effect of a deeper one. Hatred  itself is our deepest problem. While military power might contain the terrorists, only love has the power to dismantle the hate from which terrorism emerges.

There is no problem to which the love of God- manifest in our love for each other- is not the ultimate solution. Yet we must look for that love within ourselves.

(An excerpt from `Everyday Grace’ by Marianne Williamson)

 

Points For Reflection

I respect those people who are trying to reform our society with all its ills and those who do things out of good intentions. However I believe they are only looking at our human problems and imperfections on the surface level. If we look at the human problems at a deeper level, we know that our micro and macro crises are a reflection of a spiritual warfare going on both inside our souls and across the globe between hatred and love. If every one of the six billions makes a meaningful effect to resolve this spiritual crisis with love, then our human problems will be greatly diminished. May all of us fill our hearts with more love during this Christmas season and use this love to solve the problems in our society. To quote an unknown writer from my scrape book, “When God put you on that most terrible cross of your life, He wants to give you a second chance, a conditional promise to share eternal life with Him. The greater the trial, the greater the reward. That’s the paradox of God’s love for you. You can choose to accept or to reject His offer of eternal life. Acceptance means absolute surrender to His will and total trust in His love for you.”

Submitted by Philosaiki

 


Leave a comment

THE REALITY OF JUDGING OTHERS

You know what disturbs me more about Jeffrey Dahmer?

What disturbs me most are not his acts, though they are disgusting. Dahmer was convicted of 17 murders. 11 corpses were found in his apartment. He cut off arms. He ate body parts… He redefined the boundary for brutality. This monster dangled from the lowest rung of human conduct and then dropped. But that’s not what troubles me most.

Can I tell you what troubles me most about Jeffrey Dahmer? Not his trial, as disturbing as it was… No sign of remorse, no hint of regret. Not his punishment… How many years would satisfy justice?… That’s not what troubles me most about Jeffrey Dahmer. May I tell you what he does?

His conversion.

Months before  an inmate murdered him, Jeffrey Dahmer became a Christian. Said he repented. Was sorry for what he did. Profoundly sorry. Said he put his faith in Christ. Was baptised. Started life over. Began reading Christian books and attending chapel.

Sins washed. Soul cleansed. Past forgiven.

That troubles me. It shouldn’t, but it does. Grace for a cannibal? Maybe you have some reservations. If not about Dahmer perhaps about someone’s else. Ever wrestled with the deathbed conversion of a rapist… We’ve sentenced them, maybe not in court, but in our hearts. We’ve put them behind bars and locked the doors. They are forever imprisoned by our disgust. And then, the impossible happens. They repent.

Our response? (Dare we say it?) We cross our arms and furrow our brows and say,    “God won’t let you off that easy. Not after what you did. God is kind, but he’s no wimp. Grace is for average sinners like me, not deviants like you.”

Paul’s response?

“If you think that leaves you on the high ground where you can point your finger at others, think again. Every time you criticise someone, you condemn yourself. It takes one to know one” (Rom. 2:1 MSG)

(Adapted from `In The Grip Of Grace’ by Max Lucado)

Food For Reflection

The issue of judging is always very controversial. From the human point of view, it depends on how you look at the issue and from which end of the spectrum you are perceiving it. There will never be a common ground where everyone agrees on what is righteous and unrighteous. Again it may be wrong to say that people who judge others are bad. Sometimes, they are good people who judge others out of good intentions. This proverb gives us some food for thought on this issue- `The road to hell may be paved with good intentions.’  It shows us that there is a lot of paradox in human affairs!

Submitted by Philosaiki


Leave a comment

MAY `WORLD AIDS DAY’ AWAKEN OUR AWARENESS THAT TOXIC SHAME, PREJUDICE AND SOCIAL REJECTION ARE THE REAL FACTORS FOR THE PERPETUATION OF AIDS

WITH MILLIONS OF DEATHS AND MORE THAN 33 MILLION OF INFECTED PEOPLE ROUND THE WORLD, OUR POLITICAL AND COMMUNITY LEADERS IN MANY PARTS OF THE WORLD ARE STILL IN A STATE OF DENIAL. WE REFUSE TO FACE THE FACT THAT AIDS IS REALLY A COMPLEX DISEASE- MORE SOCIAL THAN MEDICAL. TO STOP THE SPREAD OF THE DISEASE, WE NEED EDUCATION TO OVERCOME OUR DEEPLY-EMBEDDED TRADITIONAL PERSPECTIVES OF SEXUALLY-TRANSMITTED DISEASES WHICH ALWAYS TAR THE VICTIMS WITH TOXIC SHAME, SOCIAL REJECTION & MARGINALIZATION AND PREJUDICES.

I WOULD CLASSIFY AIDS AS THE PINK DEATH, THE MODERN VERSION OF THE `BLACK DEATH'. AS LONG AS MAN CONTINUES TO DENY THAT AIDS IS ALSO A SOCIAL DISEASE, THE PANDEMIC WILL CONTINUE TO SPREAD LIKE WILD FIRES. SOCIETY NEEDS TO RADICALLY HER NEGATIVE ATTITUDES TOWARDS AIDS VICTIMS. AIDS IS REALLY A YING-YANG DISEASE- CONCERNED WITH THE VICTIMS AND NON-VICTIMS. EVERYONE MUST ERADICATE PREJUDICE, GOSSIPS, DISCRIMINATION & SOCIAL REJECTION FROM THEIR HEART AND MIND TO PRACTICE COMPASSION AND UNCONDITIONAL LOVE SO THAT THE VICTIMS WILL HAPPILY COME OUT INTO THE OPEN AND COOPERATE WITH SOCIETY TO PREVENT THE SPREAD OF AIDS TO THEIR LOVERS. THIS IS THE GREAT PARADOX OF MODERN TIMES!