COPING WITH SLANDERS & TOXIC GOSSIPS

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TWO WAYS TO REACH AND TRANSFORM THE OFFENDERS- WHICH WAY IS BETTER & MORE EFFECTIVE?

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HOW CAN I REALLY CHANGE IF YOU KEEP JUDGING ME NEGATIVELY, GOSSIPING AND STARING AT ME?

To every man there openeth

A way, and ways, and a way.

And the high soul climbs the high way,

And the low soul gropes the low.

And in between on the misty flats

The rest drift to and fro,

But to every man there openeth

A high way and a low-

And every man decideth the way his soul shall go.

(John Okenham)

There are two main ways to transform the offenders in society. One is to change with love and acceptance while the other way is to transform him/her with hate and condemnation to inflict maximum damage to his/her self-esteem so as to induce self-condemnation.

Actually the two ways are the opposite ends of the spectrum. The aim is the same -to change the offenders so that they will not repeat their offensive behaviors. Our goal is the same but the means are diametrically-opposite. Let’s explore to see which is the more effective and humane way. 

My way by writing this blog is to change the offenders by awakening in them the unconditional love of God. This is one of the few ways that the offenders recover a sense of their self-worth when they realize that God loves them very much without any condition. Anyone who has suffered a significant amount of wounded self-esteem and toxic shame has also been inflicted with a terrible amount of `soul-murder’ ( with their spirituality almost non-existent). When an offender is in that state of mind, he/she is very vulnerable to compulsive disorders. When one commits negative or violent acts in reaction to the negative stimulii in the form of gossips or cold stares, that is dangerous to society. The offender is liable to continue to repeat those anti-social acts secretly as a form of revenge or hate against the society. This is the main reason why criminals continue their crimes even when released from prison. They feel that it is no point changing because they perceive that they have been perpetually condemned by society. They have been labelled and socially marginalised. Have you ever been socially marginalised in this way? Will you change if you perceive that the mob-lynching has been grossly unfair without sufficient valid grounds?

This is the reason why I launch this blog to help such victims  see themselves differently- that they are are worthy of the love of God. When they realize that God loves them unconditionally, then they are capable of changing. Love is the mightiest force in the universe because God himself is love! I pray that during this Christmas season of love, all human beings should practise compassion and love towards one another by gossiping and judging less!

If anyone who has been pissed off by some of my confrontational postings, I offer him/her my sincere apologies. When we look at the same object from different perspectives, there is bound to be misunderstanding and misinterpretation. We are operating at the opposite ends of the same spectrum- trying to transform someone negative into a positive person who can contribute towards making this broken world a better place. If I can succeed in my way, this is the best Christmas for me!

Submitted by Philosaiki

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Author: eurekaimpact

David YKK has a degree in History & Education specializing on the History of Asia with special focus on comparative religions i.e. Buddhism, Hinduism, Taoism etc. He has experienced a wide range of emotional sufferings from childhood until very recently. He wanted to use his extensive experiences with low wounded self-esteem combined with insights and strategies derived from many other psychological and spiritual books to help other victims to build their own bridges to transcend their pain, shame and emotional helplessness. In overcoming most of these problems, he has not consulted any psychiatrist because he is convinced that the answers to unlock his serious emotional problems lie in crafting his own keys to open the doors of the dungeon cells from inside. More importantly, he believes in himself- in his integrity & in the philosophy of showing compassion for self and for others as well as trust in the unconditional love of God. Being a teacher and writer, David believes that every human being is creative enough to use the tools & raw materials (meaningful and practical info) to craft their own keys to open the doors to their dungeon cells that have trapped them inside. So he proposes to provide the tools and raw materials from his own extensive experiences and seven years of reading and research from many psychological and spiritual books. Since no two human beings are the same, every reader must use his/her discretion and judgment to select & apply what is meaningful and effective for their own recovery. If necessary, readers are strongly advised to consult their doctors or counselors whose professional training will definitely be beneficial for their recovery. At the end of the day, it is the suffering victim who must lift his/her own hands to pull himself/herself out of the ruts to go on living a life that God wants him/her to live. Nobody else can do this job of rebuilding his/her wounded life. The reality is that the victims must be the authors who must take the ultimate responsibility of writing the scripts of the future chapters of their lives. The articles in his blog are carefully considered and blended from his own personal experiences and insights derived from various books and internet articles with the primary intention of helping himself and other shame-victims to build practical and meaningful stepping stones to cross the deep chasm to become wholesome human beings. The author hopes that he can make a positive difference in the lives of some suffering souls who are looking for some light in their pitch-black tunnels. David realizes that he can’t do it alone because the doors to other people’s souls are sacrosanct and sacred. He believes in the power of the grace and unconditional Love of God that can bring about inner healing and happiness for the victims who are open in their hearts and minds to be aware of God’s love.

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