COPING WITH SLANDERS & TOXIC GOSSIPS

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UNDERSTAND & USE YOUR HUMAN CONDITION FOR SELF-HEALING AND DON’T DISTORT YOUR OWN FLAWS OR MISTAKES TO DIMINISH YOUR CAPACITY OF POSSIBILITY THINKING TO IMPROVE YOUR LIFE.

IT IS IMPORTANT TO SEE YOURSELF AS WHAT YOU ARE. TRUTH IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN A PERFECT ILLUSION OF YOURSELF!

Human beings are flawed in so many ways. All human beings are born with such a paradoxical thing called human condition. The tragedy is that many of us are not even aware of this systemic human failure that is embedded in us. Some know they are flawed. Some can see their flaws and acknowledge them. They provide themselves with room for improvement to become good.  But some think they have no flaws. They really don’t know their flaws. And they can’t see them. So they don’t want to make room for their own improvement to become better human beings. So they choose not to see their flaws. They deny the existence of their shortcomings. They rationalize their `flaws’ in relative terms and to make themselves feel better about their flaws, they eagerly indulge in the psychological practice of `downward comparison’.

 More importantly, you need to see your flaws as they are. But see them in the big picture of your life. Please don’t see your flaws through other people’s eyes. Even worse still, don’t ever let your flaws be grossly distorted by your own imagination through the interaction with people’s gossips and slanders. Whatever other people are gossiping you amounts only to a black dot on the whole page of your life. It amounts to only a mere fraction of your whole life. Don’t imagine and exaggerate the size of the few black dots.

Don’t let your wild imagination transform the slanders and your mistakes in terms of absolute black and white. Don’t distort and blacken the whole page of your life with no white space in between. See your mistakes and blunders as they are- merely a few black dots. No more. No less. It does not matter what other people gossip about. The few black dots will not become malignant unless you allow them to be. So look at your `enemies’ as gadflies and mosquitoes. They buzz a lot. Unless you react adversely, they are empty sounds of fury, signifying nothing. Don’t do anything foolish by reacting negatively. Don’t shoot your feet or bang your heads on the wall just because some mosquitoes are buzzing around. Just let go of your negative perception of other people’s looks and stares.

Always remember, you can be your own worst enemy by looking at life with negative perceptions.

Thoughts To Ponder

A certain amount of self-denial is necessary for your survival. Self-denial, if positively perceived, can be a useful survival tool. But if used negatively, self-denial can be used by the devil to rationalize our wrong-doing and mistakes to perpetuate our evil ways.

So it is important to strike a balance to judge which action is right and which one is wrong. A strong element of self-honesty is necessary to eradicate our mistakes and to improve our life so that we can become better human beings.

Submitted by Philosaiki