COPING WITH SLANDERS & TOXIC GOSSIPS

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KNOW THYSELF BY MASTERING THE ART OF LETTING GO OF EMOTIONAL BURDENS & SURRENDERING THE UNCONTROLLABLE STUFF TO GOD.

THE HARD REALITY IS THAT YOUR LIFE, LIKE THIS TINY FRAGILE FLOWER, WILL PASS AWAY IN A FEW MOMENTS. SO LEARN TO SURRENDER & LET GO.

All of us carry deep within us dark secrets and scars that control our behaviors, our relationships, and our attitudes. No one really knows what goes on behind the closed doors of our hearts and souls. The irony is that most of us don’t even know  ourselves. There may be some rooms in our personal mansions that we have not even visited since our births.

Those scars come from experiences that we had  as children, which shape and form us in our adult life. While many of those childhood experiences are good, just as many are painful negative  experiences that have caused havoc on our behaviors and our perceptions.

It is very important to have the awareness of all those insidious factors that have distorted and warped our perceptions. To awaken our awareness is really to see yourself as you are without any denial. It is to see yourself through the eyes of  an honest observer- without any bias, or personal agendas. To really know yourself requires you to become an impartial judge of your past with both the good and the bad influences that have shaped you as you are today. It is important to know the futility of defending your egos. A big ego will block your authentic view of your true self.

As Zen master, Suzuki Roshi, said, “If your mind is clear, true knowledge is  already yours.”

Discernment is weakened when we perceive through hopes for a different picture or through resistance to the current scenario. In other words, we have a story  of hope or fear that we overlay on reality and we interpret everything through that story. AA, on the other hand, looks at reality, unblinkingly, and tells no story about it. It simply deals with the existing situation as it is. Clear discernment comes when we feel whole in this way, when we have no need for reality to conform to our fantasies in order for us to be happy. While it is only natural and human to have preferences, discerning awareness knows that we win some and we lose some if we look at the big picture of life.

In coping with life, it is important to know what we can control; what are the things that are beyond our control; and surrender to God all those stuff that we can’t control. The AA members who have learned the art of surrendering the uncontrollable to God have also mastered the art of healing and   recovering from their disorders. In other words, our experience of life becomes that of surrender to what is. In this surrender, we would find ourselves just flowing along with life’s circumstances. In the  words of Catherine Ingram, the author of “Passionate Presence”,

“When we surrender in this way, we find ourselves just flowing away with life’s circumstances. The actual feeling of surrender is sweet in itself, like floating downstream…our own desires become merged with this flow and we find ourselves saying yes. Yes to whatever is.”

When we know the art of surrendering, we would have learned the art of letting go of our emotional burdens of the past. This is the key to inner peace and calm for those victims suffering from wounded self-esteem.

 

Submitted by David YKK

 

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WHAT IS REALLY IMPORTANT IN LIFE? GOD’S UNCONDITIONAL LOVE AND KNOWING YOURSELF AS YOU ARE WITH FULL HONESTY WITHOUT ANY DENIAL.

God always has an unconditional love for all human beings. This wonderful love has no boundary or conditions that are determined by the past mistakes, moral, social, or economic status. To benefit from this unconditional love, the persons afflicted by shame must be aware of the reality of this love that will motivate them to change into better human beings.
In his wonderful book, Harold S. Kushner gives us some words of wisdom to reflect on our life-
“I believe God speaks to us in two voices.
One is the stern, commanding voice issuing from the mountaintop, thundering `Thou Shalt not!’, summoning us to be more, to reach higher, to demand greater things of ourselves, forbidding us to use the excuse “I’m only human,” because to be human is wondrous thing.
God’s other voice is the voice of compassion and forgiveness, an embracing, cleansing voice, assuring us that when we have aimed high and fallen short we are still loved.
God understands that when we give in to temptation, it is a temporary lapse and does not reflect our true character.”

In his book, “Feynman’s Rainbow”, the well-known physicist, Leonard Mlodinow, enlightens us about what is important in life.

“What is important in life? It is a question we should all give thought to. The answer is not taught in school, and it is not as easy as it may seem, for a superficial answer is not acceptable. To discover   the real truth, you have to know yourself. Then you  have to be honest with yourself. Then you have to respect and accept yourself. For me, these were all tough tasks.”

Most of the time, most of us simply don’t want to see or hear about the ugly realities in our lives. That is why self-honesty is so vital in modern society. If you don’t have self-honesty, then you will not see the truth as it is because you cannot face the truth of your life. If you cannot accept your life as it is, with all its beauty and ugliness, then your capacity to appreciate your life is compromised by the lies that you tell yourself about the ugly aspects in your life. You can only truly appreciate your life with the good and the bad, the beautiful and the ugly, in a holistic wholesome manner. Then only you can start making improvements and refinements in your life because you really know yourself as you really are.

Submitted by David YKK